One year later, and I'm finally satisfying that writing itch that has bugging me for months. I didn't even realize until I looked back on my last entry today -- it has been ONE YEAR since my last blog.

While I could ponder why I disappeared from something that I looked forward to so readily my first two years in this career, the answer is easy: I have been BUSY!

My endeavor at Maureen Joy Charter School turned my career around in the most incredible way. I finally learned what it meant to work smart and not just hard. So where have I been the last year? Learning, observing, conferencing, putting good practice techniques into practice. I have been taking in as much as I can and I am finally in place where I am ready to share, outwardly reflect, and generate my own ideas about the craft and passion that has taken over my life.

This return entry is inspired by my current group of inspiring scholars. I have to admit, I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about my new group this year. It wasn't anything personal, but my class last year simply took my breath away. They inspired me daily with their support of one another and their incorruptible enthusiasm for learning. You could say I half-expected to have had the class of a lifetime and unsure anything could match.

Thank goodness this year's crop deterred those fears and kept the reality of dream-teaching alive and strong. My scholars this year have a totally different personality than my kids from last year or my kids from St. Louis before that, and this is what makes teaching amazing. Every year is different, every scholar is different, but the idea of hope connects them all.

Every Friday, my school dedicates one hour of our day to what we call Community Time. It's a time we have committed to character development and community outreach. Last year we focused primarily and particular character traits and classroom development. This year, I want to push the bar higher.

Our school has developed this year's focus around six Characteristics of a JOY Scholar: self-control, curiosity, consideration, bravery, optimism, and (my favorite) GRIT. Each week, we can focus on one of these traits, focus on a specific habit or challenge within those umbrellas, or really take it where we want. Blame the hopeless romantic and English major within me, but I like the open-ended style.

This Friday, I wanted my scholars to dig deep within themselves and be vulnerable. I wanted them to really open up to one another and dip their toes into the scary place of reaching out for their dreams.

I  asked my Gamecocks at what age they pictured themselves achieving or being able to achieve success, their ultimate goal.

"18, because that's when you're an adult" they said.

I played the following documentary about a 9-year-old boy named Cain. I asked my scholars to consider what character traits he had to demonstrate and really commit to in order to achieve this dream.

My message for the next 20 minutes was simple: You don't have to wait to achieve your dreams. Success does not start at 18. Every moment, every choice, every step counts.

For the next few minutes my scholars were to write down their ultimate idea of success for them. What was their arcade?

We got into a circle, and one by one shared our dream. Before starting, we went over our Community Time Norms to remind us to be honest, be a listener, keep secrets safe, and care.

I heart the most amazing, specific dreams. These future leaders were not spouting "uh, a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher or a ... something" like many of us did at their age. They KNEW what they wanted and WHY.

Here are some of their future careers:
- music teacher
- astronomer
- storm chaser
- build the first successful model for the first flying car and develop a sport with them
- 3rd grade teacher
- fashion designer
- toy store owner
- restaurant owner
- design clothes for underprivileged kids
- optomologist
- professional singer

Looking at this list, it might look "cute" or "sweet", but you haven't met these scholars. Almost 100% of them could explain to me why this was a passion for them or have done something to work towards this goal.

My future singer participates in choir. We are working on getting her a solo for a school concert.

The future astronomer spends his free time checking out books about different space explorers, missions, and all things galactic. "What's my favorite apollo mission? Hmmm, I'd have to say 13, I think, because ...." was the start of our recess conversation that afternoon.

I may be gushing, but that morning rocked my world as much if not more than it did theirs. I spent my Friday night trying to come up with at least 1-2 things I could do for each of them this year to work them toward learning about their goals or putting them to practice.

That said, If anyone reading this knows any fashion designers, professional or collegiate sports players, scientists, engineers, doctors, business owners .... we would LOVE your help! College gear, contacts, videos - every little bit helps!

My goal is for each scholar to research, interview, or write a letter with at least one person with the career or in the field of their dreams. It's time for them to realize they can start now, and school is not a means to an end by the journey itself.

I am definitely not in Kansas anymore.

Almost six months ago now, I accepted a position at a charter school with extremely combating feelings of excitement, pride, and absolutely guilt.

I felt guilt for leaving MY KIDS in St. Louis, I felt guilt about leaving the traditional public school sector to join the "easy path" at a charter school that would have everything in the world. I felt like I was turning my back on the mission that has captivated my soul for the past two years. Like I told my students yesterday during Community TIme, I felt like I was doing the wrong thing for the right reasons -- but all of that is behind me.

In February of 2011, thousands of Teach For America corps members, alumni, staff, and supported rallied in Washington, D.C. to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the organization that has been the enlightening point of many lives. At that juncture ... St. Louis was deservedly thrown under the bus for being the epitome of what happens when you throw money at a problem. In this case, when you throw money at a failing education system.

In my last classroom, I had ridiculously limited materials. Paper? Pencils? Books? Ha. But then my second year, I received a Promethean Board. Amazing, Did my teaching improve? Drastically. Did my students' learning improve? They ended lightyears away from when we met in 2010. Could we have done it without it?

I don't know the answer to that. Materials are necessary. What I've learned working at my new school, however, is that support is more important. Support makes the different. Support encourages a staff to be intrinsically competitive at all times because of the culture of determined achievement. Support gives a teacher the confidence to believe in her choices about her scholars and her classroom. Support keeps a great teacher on her toes at all times because she feels that she is able and depended on for doing so.

My school now may have less materials even than my previous one, but it has more support, encouragement, expectations, and appreciation than money can afford. I can't imagine what this school would do with all the resources in the world, but I know they would not be wasted on inefficiency or untaught practices.

What I am blessed to see at this school is that achievement is not inherited, it is earned. My scholars now and their families are the glowing example of the critical need for all partners in a single child's education to be locked, united, and gracious of one another's contributions and aware of one another's responsibilities. We hold one another accountable, we feel guilty for 30 seconds of down time, we pull into the parking lot when the sun is still asleep and leave as it is resting again.

I walk into my "educational cottage" -- okay, you know what it really is -- knowing that I am going to be amazed by the character that I will see from my scholars that day. Because they have more character than any people I have ever met. I know every morning that I will be inspired by the scholars and the staff around me, that I will leave our daily morning staff meeting at 7:25 with an inspiring quote and conversation to rock me through the day. I know that at least one of my principals will be in my classroom at least once that day. I know that at least one scholar will ask for extra homework. I know that 22 scholars will spend half of their energy supporting their classmates through moments of insight as well as struggling moments of misunderstanding.

I am working harder than I've ever worked before -- but in a totally new way. I cannot begin to compare this experience to the one I've had the last two years, but I can say that all of my energy now is pulled into GREAT teaching instead of surviving. The guilt is gone, as I realize now that I am learning what is required of me and our schools in order to produce a competitive and equipped next generation of society.

My scholars are still on the suffering end of the achievement gap -- they need me, and they need me to step up my game -- and this fact shows me how vast this gap really is. 

And THAT is why I haven't spared the time to blog since before institute. I've been on fire.

"Look cool on the outside, but burn with the desire for teaching on the inside."

Chicago Institute 2012: Instructional Conference

I drank the juice.

While you guys were remembering the troops, at the lake, on the beach, on a porch somewhere soaking up the sun and frolicking on what I think is one of the most meaningful three-day weekends we have, I was at school.

Yes, I went straight from Walbridge to Noble Muchin in Chicago for our second institute conference learning how to develop corps members during their institute experience. Just when everyone was talking about TFA being over, I jumped into TFA institute work. In a weird way, it’s the vacation I needed. I had a really strong end with my kids, and it’s been very hard for me to internalize what it means now for that time to be over, and IC is helping me get pumped up for what’s ahead and the role I am playing this summer in developing new teachers who are going to go through the highest of highs and lowest of lows that have inspired me.

Side note: I am teaching my third year! I will be making the move back South to North Carolina to join my family, and I am so bittersweet about that move. I’m thrilled to be bringing back what I’ve learned to students in North Carolina and taking care of myself a little bit by being close to my family. The difficult part was leaving my students and the other students and staff at my school who I have grown so close to, including the Walbridge 7 and beyond. It’s hard to have to tell them that I’ve leaving them and not feel like I’m abandoning them. My heart breaks every moment I think about my students, but I have to remember that I’ve done well by them and I’ve prepared them to move on.

Back to why this conference has been so therapeutic and revitalizing for me: I will be teaching fourth grade at Maureen Joy this year, coaching corps members during institute this summer, and I’ve officially grounded myself in the work for the long-run. I have this really strong sense of commitment and capability that I didn’t start out with, and this opportunity is developing me even more in my mission and strengths.

While I’m here to professionally develop my corps members, I feel like I am getting the PD I needed to really reflect on my experience and push myself to the next step.

Okay, so maybe I need to revise my confession from before: I didn’t just drink the juice, I’m pretty much swimming in a pool of it.

I’m sitting here in my bright orange institute t-shirt (ugh, Clemsux, sorry), beaming about the Behavior Management Cycle (BMC) and Academic Intervention Time (AIT). Be ready for alphabet soup readers, you’ll be getting TONS of it.

They worked hard, they are smart, they will go far.

They reached for the stars … and they better never stop.

Two years. Over 40 students. 3 years of growth. Thousands of hours, laughs, stomps, light bulb moments, pencils, and checks. It’s over – we did it!

I hugged the last student goodbye on Thursday and closed the door to MY Room 206 for the final time on Friday, May 25. I don’t know why I even thought I might not sob like a baby.

I am leaving my kids with a strong sense of the future ahead. My students have shown me growth, understanding, love, and hope. They are curious, they are interested, they are eager. TFA Vision = check!

January 2010 came with an acceptance letter to TFA St. Louis, and I cannot believe how far I have come and changed since that email. I joined Teach For America feeling like I was going to join a mission, I was going to be challenged, I was going to see things I’ve never seen before and have my heart wrenched. While all of these things surely did happen (and they happened daily, hourly, and by the minute), they are only the smallest slice of the pie.

Here’s the thing: TFA is not a two-year journey for me. TFA has rerouted what I want and see for my life because I’ve found something much more important than myself. I am now and forever a teacher and I cannot turn my back on it. When I joined this organization, I realize those who love me signed at the “teacher” spot on my resume, wondered what I would be doing “next,” and hoped that I would seek “more” for myself. I’ve heard, “You’ve worked so hard, I just don’t want you to settle for less.”

Let me tell you now: Teaching is the most rewarding, most difficult, most purposeful higher calling that I could imagine. Let me give you my key points now as to what, why, and how I will be a lifelong advocate for education, children, and change in this country and world.

What: I will be a teacher. I will wake up each morning looking forward to the eager faces I see who deserve better than they know. I will come in with a plan that I will never see come perfectly to fruition. I will begin a to-do list every day what will never be fully completed. I will be told I don’t care, I will be told I’m not good enough, and I will be told that it doesn’t matter. I will close my ears to anything less than 100% positive and productive.

I will be ignored, I will be yelled at, I will be undervalued.

I will also walk into a school each day and hear at least five, “Good morning Ms. Davis” welcomes from children I do and do not know. I will be hugged by at least two dozen smiling faces each and every day. I will receive calls, texts, pictures, and notes that say “I love you.” I will see youthful ambition, I will see mind light bulbs turn on, I will see relentless pursuit at its highest level. I will see people who are battered, abused, abandoned, hopeless, and scared wake up each day and sit in a classroom ready to learn. I will be thanked by strangers for my commitment to our children. I will be invited to birthday parties, football games, and dinners by families of the students I love. I will equip students to find their voice, their power, and their ability to grow and succeed. I will give students the language of goals and hard work and purpose.

I will be on my feet without a seat at least eight hours each day. I will come home with pen, marker, and chalk all over my face and hands. I will have a wall covered with art work and letters. I will come home and do it all again until I go to bed and be told than I work part-time hours.

And at the end of the school year, I will see the fruits of my labor when my students leave my class knowing that they are advocates for themselves. They will hug me, thank me, and tell me that they’ve never felt smarter or happier.

I will read a letter from my third-grader who says that I am his happy thought, and that he cannot wait to graduate from college and make the world better.

How:

How will I do this? I will never look at my calling as a job. I will get to know every child as much as I possibly can. I will focus on the UNDERSTANDING that all students deserve the opportunity to attain an excellent education. I will wake up every day with the charge that I may be the only advocate for my student and that I cannot let them down. I will remember that I represent Teach For America, my school, teachers, students, and families every where and that it is my responsibility to change not only the trajectory but also the perception of those people and organizations.

I will do this through to-do lists, Diet Coke, chocolate, my family, my friends, my puppy, and plenty of chick flicks on the weekend to help me get through it. I will let people in and share my stories with strangers so that they can be advocates themselves. I will remember that to do this work, we must be positive and purposeful and on a mission at all times.

Why:

Duh. It’s hard to explain the why because for me it has become so foundational to who I am as a person, a teacher, a TFA Alumn (what-what), and an advocate. Children are innocent and deserve everything that a fulfilling life has to offer. They represent our past, they are the audience of the present, and they are our future. Every child deserves to dream, know they can reach their dreams, and feel empowered to do so. Why would I not want to be a part of a movement that is driven to help thousands of children realize their ambitions, push society to be a better place, and bring our world to a place of empathy and peace.

The why seems “duh” to me.

I realize that is a crazy Teach For America rant, but this is what my experience has done to me. It has allowed me to see that I am only a tiny part of this world, but through teaching I can make a giant impact on the lives of students and the futures they CREATE.

“You do not enter the future, you create it.”