The STL Life is Good

10/30/2011

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Spoiler Alert: This blog entry is 99% not about teaching, but an entry about my experiences living in St. Louis today, this week, this year, at this time in its history and my life. As being a St. Louisan is part of my commitment and TFA journey, I vote I'm allowed to blog about this as part of my TFA chronicles :)

Q: Why is it the best time to be living in Saint Louis, Missouri?

A: Too many reasons to count.

    1. WORLD SERIES 2011 CHAMPIONS!!!!
    St. Louis has been turned upside down this post-season as the city rallies behind the Cardinals. The journey to the world series was a stressful, exciting, an amazing one. I can't believe I actually got to be in this city while it met that moment of celebration! I've never been in a baseball city before, and the closest I got to this feeling was rallying behind the Gamecocks as World Series champions for the last two years (which was, in a word, AWESOME!). This city needed this win, needed the chance to prove itself and prove its reputations as the baseball capital. The camaraderie, the excitement, the purest form of pride in that last catch - it's a moment that cannot be recaptured or described in words. Go Cards!

    2. Halloween 2011
    I love Halloween, and it took some major arm-twisting to get A.J. to (at least pretend) to love it, too. My friend Kelly (and fellow Walbridge teacher) and I had a Halloween party for our kids on Friday, with trays of treats and "Hocus Pocus" for the end of the day. The party was a success, and I never get over how much it tickles me to watch my students react to my favorite childhood movies. Thinking back to the holiday parties of last year and the craziness and misbehavior that generally took place, it meant something to see my kids sharing and trading favorite goodies, laughing at the movie, and respecting our celebration.
    That's my teaching Halloween piece - my personal Halloween was ever better. One of the things in my St. Louis Bucket List I was missing was Halloween in the Central West End, a must-do in the city. Thanks to two of my favorites, A.J. and I got to enjoy the celebration! There were hundreds of costume-crazed St. Louisans on the streets downtown celebrating the night, and it was one of the best Halloween celebrations I've ever seen, if not the most centralized. We had a great time watching the creative costumes and enjoying one another's company. Afterwards, we spent time with a bunch of our TFA friends and let loose. Halloween was a complete and wonderful success this year.

    3. The St. Louis Greats
    A.J. and I had what I term, a "perfect weekend." We spent Friday cheering on the Cardinals and celebrating the BIG WIN, even walking back from the streets of Soulard to Lafayette and enjoying the team spirit of the city. And then on Saturday we enjoyed our weekend tradition of lazy mornings watching our favorite television shows (thank you, "The Office" and "Parks and Recreation" for being so awesome). We then set out for our ABSOLUTE favorite thing: Soulard Farmer's Market. I wish I could explain why it's so much fun for us and the enjoyment we get from it, but all I can say is that I have my favorite time of the week every Saturday morning with A.J. at the market, taking our time to enjoy the simplest things. We even got to enjoy a St. Louis "Must-Do" by lunching at the famous Gus' pretzels in Benton Park. Delicious.

Perfect Weekend.

    4. And as my 1% teaching part of the blog, (okay, I know I mentioned my kids already, but it's hard to do....!) I got the best news Thursday: my Promethean Board is here! I have been pushing to get one of these amazing smart boards since last year, and I got the good news and dozens of boxes Thursday to set off this perfect weekend. I can't wait to start planning my lessons, seeing how many cool ways I can reach and engage my kids. The board is installed Tuesday, and I literally feel like I got my Christmas gift of the decade.

So, thank you St. Louis. Not only have you given me the most intense job of a lifetime, a city to venture out on my own, a setting for one of the biggest times of my life, and several new-found loves ... but you have allowed me to experience this city at what I believe will be one of its greatest times of all. Thank you.
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Preservation of Innocence

10/27/2011

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I grew up lucky, in a family and time when childhood was something to be treasured and protected. My childhood innocence was cherished, and my parents made sure that their worries weren't mine, that their problems were behind closed doors, and that my fears from the rest of the world would always be taken care of before I had to worry about it.

When i said I wanted to grow up, my parents said, "Not too fast."

What scares me when I walk around today is how many adults have abandoned this beautiful and still-too-modern idea that children can and should be protected by the grime that inevitably taints their lives. I hear parents dish out their conflicts in raised voices in front of their children, vulgar language or movies tossed out in public view for confused young faces, and the stressors of adulthood flaunted in childhood faces.

This lack of respect for the sanctity of childhood has plagued me since before my Teach For America experiences, but now with all the exposure it is safe to say that this once-annoyance floats near the top of my true frustrations. Not to sound like the gray-haired, "Back in my day" folk, but what is up with what our kids are exposed to these days?

While I could limit my rant to risque magazine covers, lightly edited vulgar music, and what used to be late-night television on family day channels ... the stakes are much higher for some children. Children who haven't even learned multiplication can give you every swear known to man, every gang sign in their area, and a list of people killed or hurt with street violence.

My students and others I know have taught me things that I never thought children would know, that I am only now still learning. They know to drop on the ground when they hear gunshots, because shots have flown past them during recess. They don't show me the "okay" sign because it reminds them of gangs. They avoid (or pursue) red because it means more than a bright color. It's a heartbreak.

I share this now not to past judgment or make my students look like they have a certain lifestyle, or that their families have a certain lifestyle. That's not the case. I have great students and wonderful families who worry for their children the same way (more than, because they're their parents) as I do. No, I share because of this:

Gang violence in my school's neighborhood has been a threat to my students since they were born, with murders and other violence plaguing streets and sidewalks that SHOULD be safegrounds for the children that attend school on the block. But they aren't. I ask all readers to think about my students this week, all Walbridge students, teachers, staff, and families. Think about them, pray for them, hope for them -- whatever you can do to keep safe thoughts.

It breaks my heart that I have to talk to my class tomorrow about this rough time of year, how important it is to walk straight home, and that trick-or-treating might not be a good choice this year. I wish my kids, all kids, lived in a world where their innocence and childhood traditions were valued and sacred. All I can do is teach them to make smart choices, care for one another, and make the world they want to live in.

Oh, and throw them an amazing Halloween Part tomorrow :)







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Humility

10/18/2011

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Every day after I hug that last student and walk them out after dismissal, I have myself the largest piece of pie. We have pie all over the place at Walbridge. Donovan says I smell like pumpkin pie (gross or endearing), our job is the total opposite of "easy as pie" and that slice I take for myself? A giant slab of humble pie.

And I keep going back for seconds.

I know that's a silly introduction and a kind of silly metaphor to get into, but I need to keep it lighthearted these days (years). The truth is last week was terrible for me, and this week didn't start off much better. It's been one of those spells when you feel like the robot toy that keeps walking into the door over and over again until your battery runs out. But for whatever reason, my battery still hasn't ever totally run out. Someone's watching out for me.

Yesterday, after a bad Monday after a series of bad days, I came home realizing one of the reasons I was struggling a bit lately. I just wasn't the Amanda (maybe because I'm Ms. Davis now?) that I used to be. I wasn't walking into work with everything figured out, ready to dish out my help and advice as I pushed my colleagues to the next level. I wasn't waking up with that extra umph or giving myself gold starts for a job well done. I wasn't being recognized for being the best at anything or the top of my game.

Nope, instead I felt bombarded this month with "this sucks" or "this isn't right" or "why can't we do this" or "you should do this instead." The words are and aren't exactly, and not all of them came from my third-graders. As a matter of fact, when I got a handful of compliments over my hard work on Friday, it was the first compliment I had gotten outside of my beloved Walbridge 7, my lifesaver at home, or my other best friends and family in a long time. And frankly, here comes that pie, I'm not used to that.

I've never been one for overconfidence or the cocky factor - ask anyone and the complaint will be my lack thereof. I don't congratulate myself enough, I'm hard on myself, blagh, blagh, blagh. But maybe that's because I had encouragement around me my whole life, so much that I didn't have to give myself that encouragement. And while I'm not the arrogant type, I have always been fairly content in my being able to do things well that I give my all towards.

When I worked hard at school, I made good grades. When I worked hard for a job, I did well at that job. When I gave an interview my all, I got my interview. When I invested in my relationships, the payback was endless and awesome.

Teaching, eh, hasn't gone quite that way. It's not that I'm not making successes, it's not that I haven't seen change and progress, because I have. But no longer am I the master of my domain. I don't wake up knowing I've got it all figured out, or that I can if I find myself with a new problem. I don't expect to be recognized for my successes or contributions. And while I don't need them all the time, the negativity is hard for me.

And there's been a cloud of negativity treading around my classroom for a while. It takes its breaks when we are on our game (and it's not at all that deep, unyielding hurricane that it was last year), but it hovers from time to time. 

So what's the problem? I have to remember that I'm human, that I'm still new at this, and that I signed on for an undertaking that is, admittedly and self-proclaimed so, difficult and challenging. It doesn't take a yearlong reflection to realize that, as I see it ever day. But sometimes, I have to take some responsibility for my attitude and what's it's doing for me, my class, and our attitude of tomorrow.

The big picture of this responsibility? Being humble. Recognizing that I can't be perfect, and that I have to stop expecting perfection from my kids to the very extend every second of every day. Because, honestly, I do. I expect a level that isn't always fair. I'm being told that a lot this year. I expect too much, sometimes. I am too hard on my kids, sometimes. I need to slow the pace and remember where we are, what we are doing, and who I am doing it with. Children working and striving, but also living and being children. I don't want to stifle and crush what makes my kids kids, and I don't want to lose what makes me a great teacher. I love my kids, I care about their well-being, and I'm qualified to be a good or great, maybe not the best, teacher. While my high expectations are necessary and push my kids, I can't feel like the bottom drops out just because we're not at our peak performance. Like they're alwyHey, that's what the 80% BG is for, right?


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Fun Friday

10/1/2011

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Our school does this thing where we celebrate the students who show mastery on their weekly (well, now, bi-weekly) GLE tests. I'm giving quizzes in between based on topics to actually show student growth and progress, so I had a Rounding and Estimating Quiz, a Spelling Test, vocabulary quiz, and reading comprehension independent practice this week. A lot of work? Yes. Could I have given these last year in a purposeful fashion? No. Did we master? Well . . . .

At least 80% of my kids got at least 80% on two or more of their tests. A few students routinely get a ZERO on their tests for either laziness or level factors, but aside from those drastically low scores, my kids showed two thing this week:

a) Investment. Why? Our compliment chain is halfway to the ground after two weeks. Nobody turned in an incomplete test. And at least one student cried because they didn't get MORE THAN 100% (not getting the extra credit was a cry factor for a student who last year laughed at 20% on tests).

b) Mastery. My kids are starting to get it. Are they ACEing tests? Not really. Do they TOTALLY get it? No. Are there holes and incomplete lessons? Absolutely. But there is a work ethic there that wasn't there before.

Not to be all "Beauty and the Beast" right now, but I think Angela Langsbury would be proud ... "I think there's something there that wasn't there before . . . "

I'm a proud Ms. Davis.




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