Last week was our week to learn about Thanksgiving, "how to contribute to a celebration" and what we are thankful for ... it was easily one of my favorite week/s all year. And not even just because of the fun "learning about pilgrims and Native Americans" lesson plans and activities, but because being with my kids will make you truly understand what it is to be thankful. I have never felt more blessed.
My kids have come around in a way I'm not sure I thought would be possible two months ago when I was crying all day every day. They are realizing what helps them learn and that they themselves do care about learning and being smart, and what being smart will mean for their lives. They don't want to be behind, they don't want to be in trouble, they want to feel accomplished like every one else.
My babies loved talking about the pilgrims and Native Americans. We read "A Turkey for Thanksgiving" and they enjoyed most sharing stories, some real and some "made up" about their own Thanksgivings. Even the stories I knew weren't real were wonderful to listen to, and heartbreaking, because the ideal ones they make up should be reality for them. It will be one day.
My mom came to St. Louis last week! It was wonderful! Not only did we get to eat our weight in wonderful food but we visited the arch and places all around the city .... AND she came to my classroom and helped me do Thanksgiving week! We came up with crafts and a party for the second-grade classes, and my mom couldn't have been more helpful or more caring. On the Tuesday, we brought boxes of snacks and materials and stacks of activity sheets. The kids read Thanksgiving stories and colored Turkeys and wrote about what they were Thankful for - some of them were so funny and others touching.
Then we set up our party with the lead teacher! We had tons of snacks, one little girl walked up in awe and said "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen!" with a big smile on her face! We had the kids move in stations (centers): my mom was at the Place Mats table where the students traced hands on giant paper to decorate Thanksgiving placements; the other teacher had students wear pilgrim hats and Native America vests for our Pilgrims reading and "Arthur's Thanksgiving"; I had the kids use apples, toothpicks, marshmallows, and mini Tootsie Rolls to make turkeys - and then we took turns for the eating station full of grapes, oranges, popcorn, hot Cheetohs (of course!) cupcakes and juice boxes.
The kids did a great job, they were proud of what they made and thankful for the party, and we had a lot of fun! The lead teacher even gave me a giant hug and said it was the best Thanksgiving party she's had with her kids!
Success :) It was a GREAT day!
I am thankful for what I have at home, and for my kids - learning to learn and succeed a little more each day.
PLUS ... I got invited to a birthday party from one of my kids. Not to brag but ... they pretty much love me ;) hahaha

PS If you want to help us build our literacy (in reading and writing especially my non-readers!)

At Walridge, there are two test days each week: pre-test day and post-test day. We pick a Weekly Power GLE each week in communication arts, math, and science to focus on throughout our lessons, and give the students a pre-test on Monday and a post-test at the end of the week. We track these scores and highlight in green 80% and above post-test scores and in yellow we highlight "target" areas or those where students are close to achieving proficiency at 60-80%. It's a lot of testing, a lot of tracking, and a lot of highlighting.
Want to know how much my kids have progressed since August? Our first spelling test yielded mostly Fs and took us 3 times to complete due to incessant cheating, talking, not listening, fits and inability to properly head or write in list format.
Today, we had all but two students achieve their "big goal" at 80% or above, and almost all (all but two) were 100. Yep, really.
We also took a math test, a reading comprehensive test, a test on our Comm Arts power GLE (this week was Drawing Conclusions), and did group reading and wrote invitations letters for our Thanksgiving celebrations. AND most of those were big-goal-reaching scores. They used their self-decorated cover sheets (We "write it, and slide it to hide it!") and properly in order turned their tests into their mailboxes, turned in cover sheets, and waited patiently for missed words to be repeated at the end of our spelling test.
Is this the same class?
I think I hit my big goal this week :) Because my kids, class of 2025, most definitely did. And THEY earned it.


And as for the title of this post, I should add why I really used this "tested in all facets of life at all times" metaphoric title - I've had quite the reality doses lately in class and at school. My heart breaks daily for my children and today was no different, if not worse. On top of the recent shootings, parents called via hotline, and growing homelessness in my class . . . I had TWO students today with parents who were arrested last night. One boy I asked him why he was off today and if he was ok, but he had a story that shook my heart knowing he had witnessed it and wondering how he would get through the events of last night. Another's mom was arrested - the same student whose dad was arrested at school last week.
Serious heartbreak, serious loss of words, and serious lack of experience/knowledge to know how to help my kids with these experiences.

We are all tested,

Before the curse of "third day is definitely not a charm" comes along (and who knows, maybe it won't? hahaha) I have to celebrate my successes. And this week, is absolutely a success.
I'm not sure if it's their attitudes. I'm not sure if it's my attitude. Are they working harder? Am I working harder? Are they being patient? Am I practicing better patience? I don't know what it is, or if it's really real, but I feel like this week was a week to chart. I needed this week to show me how far along my students have come since I first introduced myself back in August.
As of yesterday, I have taught for three months. I have been a teacher at Walbridge Elementary, a second-grade teacher, for three months now.
It's only been 3 months??
And we've only learned that in 3 months?
And we actually came THIS FAR in 3 months?
It's a lot of pluses and minusus, but you know what, I have made progress. Today, I had a moment when I realized I really have gotten through to some level. I was understanding. I was able to motivate and remotivate and calm down and again remotivate those troubled students, I differentiated. I kept them busy.
OUR BATHROOM BREAK WAS 30 MINUTES SHORTER THAN IT WAS IN AUGUST. And 15 shorter than it was a month ago, or even a few days ago.
We took a standardized test, practiced spelling, did spelling worksheets, read a story, wrote about "how we can contribute to a Thanksgiving celebration," took a timed math test, and had a party. Yeaaaah.
Tomorrow, pilgrims and Native Americans.
And more practice.
And more learning.
And please, God, let this really happen.
Before I go, I have to be real. I did have three students in the office yesterday. I did have a fight, I did have a student spit down the stairwell, I did have students yell back at me and throw fists in my face (still can't move my wrist from the forcing away from me). But, BUT, in isolating 3 students from my classroom I was able to go through my lessons.
The success: that number used to be 8-10. Now it's 3-5. Jackpot.
Oh, and my students are now hugging me by choice at random and saying they love me. I liked that.

Two held at gun point outside of my school this week. How did we find out? A friend asked why we didn't have our earthquake drill as scheduled - because security was busy taking care of our two gunpoint incidences.
Last week a little girl was jumped by male students at my school because they wanted her NACHOS. Yes, you read that right. They put a gun to her stomach, held her down, and demanded her nachos that she was snacking on, just outside the school.
And then, an afterschool teacher has a barrel held to her head on her way to her car. Thank goodness she is safe, but they took her car and her sense of security.
And both of these took place right outside, right where my kids and I walk in and out of school each day. What kind of world is this? And I'm lucky enough to hop into my car and drive down the highway and away to my cute house by the park.
It breaks my heart daily, but my kids grow up in this neighborhood. My kids will be the victims and the criminals - I don't want them to be those people, and they don't have to be. It's become a cliche, but THAT is why I teach for America.
I want to teach how to not grow up into this walking stereotype that hurts everyone around them including themselves. I need to model how to treat people, how to deal with emotions, how to raise myself above my circumstances. Because they have it much worse than I ever will, so the least I can do is show a shallow example.
I will say that the red flag for "You are a young woman from outside of this neighborhood with a bullseye on your head" went up after that meeting. I clenched up before opening the double doors and turning the corner to my car today. And my 7-year-olds walk home and live in those houses on that street.
It always seemed like an unspoken oath to not mess with kids. Leave the shots out of school range. Only the worst of the worst allow children to be caught in the crossfire of guns and gangs, abuse and criminality. Well, this neighborhood shows me the best of the neighborhood and the worst. But never could I have imagined that a school feels no safer than the streets.
And the most disappointing part is that it probably is. This school probably is almost a safe haven for families - and it is not safe. It is not.
Aside from the three students I had sit in the office for hitting, running away and outside, and utter defiance, I had a good day with my kids. The ones who acted up were terrible, but when they were gone, I had real teaching with the rest of my kids. Thank you boys and girls. We talked about Thanksgiving, contributing, our story. We practiced our spelling, we practiced drawing conclusions and author's purpose. We had a great end of day. I had more hugs than I have ever had, and they were random, and they were genuine, and they melted my heart.
I hope they know how much they are loved in this world, because maybe if they do, they won't be

I had a pretty good and very terrible week all in one - great because I had real teaching moments, real moments of clarity, and terrible because of this tightening in my chest when I think about how I let some of my kids out of my classroom door each afternoon.
This song from Everclear is a favorite of mine, though it's heartbreakingly horrific. It's about a little boy whose parents fight all the time and how he escapes from the fighting in his own head. Some of my little ones have it much worse, but I think this captures, to a degree, what my heart feels for this week, what I'm hearing when I look at those little tear-filled eyes and innocent (and yet, sadly, not) eyes.

Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home.

It's not fair that I see young children who have to escape their lives, who cannot depend on anyone in their lives. I have plenty of parents who could not be more caring, more tender, more involved with their children. And then others, well, it breaks my heart that children are not the priority, not treated with the care they deserve. I'm watching it happen almost completely helpless, watching the law attempt to fix it, watching our school take action, and watching not enough happen.

I read a quote today about how we worry so much about who are children will be tomorrow that we forget they are someone today - this pretty much sums up one of my continued lessons this week. I worry about turning them into these independent, successful, confident people who can break through this quicksand where they are living, and it's easy to forget that right now they are little kids. My students aren't just tomorrow, and they aren't just living for tomorrow. I need to make my classroom the place where some of them CAN trust an adult and be safe. I need to let them feel love, and happiness, and simply joy. I need to realize that our time together may be the only secure time they have, or the only time in the day they get to be a kid. In my class, it does get to be all about them, while for many of my students, 3:15 p.m. to 8:00 a.m. is nothing about them. For some students int his country, afterschool means being a caretaker, being a chore, or being an "inconvenience". It's sickening, it's unfair, and it's completely reality.

That lesson helped me make this week better for my kids, and today was a good day. I have a couple students show me complete transformations the past few weeks. Frowns are now smiles, blank papers are now full, and some students who couldn't have been more disruptive and mean to others are now my buddies, working for themselves and ASKING for notes homes to parents because now they are good notes, notes of which they are proud. I've had a good week when I think back about the beginning.

Today, I taught Veteran's Day. It was so much fun! We are learning how to write letters this week and as our project we are writing letters to colleges! They are very excited, and they all know when they graduate high school and college (2021 and 2025)! So today as practice ... they wrote letters to troops! "Dear Hero" with drawn pictures made their Social Studies lesson. I loved it, and they worked well. They asked for help, they worked independently, they were QUIET and IN THEIR SEATS and they cared about it. We also made ribbons and a poem about Veteran's Day. It was a good day. I'll post pictures with their letters asap!

Now if only I can find a way to keep some of them in class forever ...

What was my lesson plan today?
Students will be able to (eventually): raise their hand, walk nicely in the hallway, stay in their seat, do their work, listen to the teacher, follow directions, use only nice words and actions, and be a team player. What we did? Talked about rules, consequences, changes in our classroom. They didn't even pick up their pencils until 2:30 p.m., because 2 1/2 hours was walking in the hallway.
It's difficult, and I'm struggling try to figure out, to teach and discipline children ages 7-10 at levels from Pre-K to 6th grade with the emotional capacity of a 4-year-old. Do I treat them like first graders to suit their abilities? Or do I suit my class to a strong third-grade classroom to hold them to high expectations in hopes they will reach those expectations. Well, I know the TFA answer. Not I just need to figure it out
We did decide on some good changes today as a class. We practiced voice levels for half an hour. We will have a Cool Out Corner (yes, I am decorating it in light blue). They did a good job at that conversations. But the checks method I used to replace my cards was iffy - they need more action-consequence (immediate response). A few checks between doesn't work. So that's where I'm up in the air and lost - any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
In order to hopefully finally really reach children at their levels the other second-grade teacher and I are splitting up our kids during reading according to their level - we'll see how it works for a while (at least until our kids are mature enough to do centers). And I can't wait to post pictures of the new reading tracker!

IN OTHER NEWS I NEED YOUR HELP!!
I am working on a project for DonorsChoose.org. Donors Choose is a website where teachers create projects for their classrooms and donors can select projects to help sponsor. For example, I have two projects I really want to see through. My kids are incredibly behind in reading (I have 8 nonreaders). I want reading to be enjoyable and autonomous for my kids, so I need a true library.
What I need help with? Buying the organized bins so I can organize books by level and interest. I need a reading carpet, leveled books, and (fingers-crossed) as the WHOs I really want a set of Dr. Seuss books. My kids are behind, Dr. Seuss is the perfect bridge.

The other project I'm especially eager to get started is an emotional intelligence project. My kids grow up on the roughest streets in St. Louis, some of the worst in the country. Their maturity, their emotional stressors, their abilities to cope, their experiences - it's something that keeps them from being able to trust, learn, cooperate, or function on any sort of social level. Every day I have students who are hungry, who are primary caretakers for younger siblings, students who are abused and homeless. My students immediately jump to fight mode, break out in hourly tantrums, steal, cheat, lie (more often than they smile ... at 2nd grade).

Before I send them out, I want my students to learn how to be people above their circumstances so that they CAN LEARN and CAN exist. No student should spend more time crying than smiling, in the office than working. I want to build an environment where my students can learn emotional intelligence and feel safe, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I am asking for donors to contribute for positive posters, books, soothing furniture and materials, etc. We are going to learn how to rise above the streets so that we can graduate high school in 2021 and college in 2025! (And yes, they know these years!)

Lastly, for anyone who may still be reading, we are learning how to write letters next week and I think I have the perfect project. I'm really trying to push college for my kids - not because I think they'll fail life without it, but because they need to be shooting high and they are interested in college now. I am going to have students choose one school each to write a letter to and ask for a folder (and hopefully other things!) in which to put our "big goal" work. I already have kids saying they want to go where I went to college - this would make them feel so special and meaningful. If you have a folder, could buy a folder, or could contact someone who would donate materials (fun collegey stuff!) please let me know. I'm working on it!